Workplace Conflict: Don't Get Mad. Don't Get Even. Get What you Want!

You’ve likely heard the phrase, Don’t get mad, get even. The idea is that there isn’t much point in expending emotional energy on anger when you can take action. Well, this may be a motto some live by but when it comes to workplace conflict, “getting even” hardly ever leads to a healthy resolution. 

So what do you do when you are embroiled in the middle of a conflict and neither party will budge? Don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Get what you want! 

Interest-based Negotiation

Interest-based negotiation is a conflict resolution tool that helps parties identify what their main priorities are and how they might move forward creatively. 

For instance, imagine that you are a program officer at a local community center and you want to use the largest common room for a new weekly event. The problem is that another co-worker has their eyes on the same space at the same time. This may seem like a simple conflict that can easily be solved with a little conversation but many conflicts are simple in nature. 

Instead of drawing lines in the sand and demanding the rights to the space, or going to your superior and pulling rank, it might be wise to work with your coworker to get what you both want. 

You Both Win

Maybe you want to use the space on Wednesday evenings because your program participants can only meet on Wednesdays and your co-worker wants the space that evening for an equally important reason. It might seem like someone is going to win and someone is going to lose. However, by outlining your main interests you might be able to find a solution where you both win. 

Your interest in the common room might be because of the size group it can accommodate while potentially your coworker is interested in the space because of the technology available. You might not be able to wave your wand and find another large gathering space but you can likely find a way to get a smart tv into another room. 

Here are some other examples: 

You and you’re coworker both want an open position within your organization. However, what you really want is the professional respect the position signifies. Maybe there are other ways to feel validated at work. 

Or 

You and another organization have vastly different views on how to solve a social problem, though, you realize that there is no point in arguing because you can both address the same problem from different perspectives and clients will have even more support. 

So, next time you are stuck in the middle of a conflict where it feels like there is a winner take all scenario, remember, don’t get mad. Don’t get even. Get what you want!

For more help navigating workplace conflict, contact Spark Group Consulting today!

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